you don’t understand duke’s character at all you absolute rube

duke would play undertale like a normal rpg, feel bad about killing toriel, and then get to snowden where the idea of sparing enemies would “click” when he got to Papyrus because he likes the funny skeleton man and doesn’t wanna kick his ass 

he toys with the idea of being friendly for the rest of the game, “beats” it, and gets to the part where flowey says “try beating the game without killing anyone”

duke would take this as a challenge and do the pacifist run. during the gay parts he’d be like “whats better than this, babes loving babes” (the part with the guards would fly completely over his head, believing it to be a completely platonic sweaty bro sesh) he’d complete the game and think to himself “hmm. maybe there’s more to life than kicking ass? maybe… kindness is the real tough thing to do?”

then some time traveling nazis would show up in his house because they pinpointed this exact moment as Duke’s one point of vulnerability in his entire life, then he’d kill all of the nazis and be like “hail to the king, baby”

thanks for reading my fanfic 

I’m sorry

you’re forgiven, but i just wanted to add that duke would not want to fuck toriel

you see, all anthropomorphic animals are in the same realm as garfield in duke’s mind. in fact, the only reason duke decided to stick with undertale is because he loves garfield and undertale has so many talking animals.

during the part where the game lets you flirt with toriel, duke said “woah, this garfield game just got a little freaky.” 

lovin’ this undertale-themed duke nukem character study

More of this please