yourplayersaidwhat:

DM as NPC we’re trying to impress: “I’m thinking of taking my horse out for a ride, care for a race?”

Party collectively: “Hell yes, between us we’ve got a couple of great racing horses and skilled jockeys.”

DM as DM: “What the fuck, you do? Since when?”

Party collectively: “We’d like to walk behind the nearest street corner. There, our two druids transform into horses, our bard and rogue saddle up, and we come back in a while, with apologies for our two nature-lover friends who couldn’t bear to see animals used in such ways for fun.”

DM as DM, stifling laughter: “……. O-fucking-K. Moving on to the race, I’d like the, oh dear, the druids to roll Athletics to see how you do, and the riders… Umm…”

Rogue OOC: “I wanna check Acrobatics, I’ll be doing flips and handstands all the way, since I don’t really need to tell my steed what to do!”

Bard OOC: “I’m an excellent rider (smug wink) but I’ve never in my life been on a horse, so I would like to use a Performance check to fake looking like I know what the fuck I’m doing up there.”

DM as DM, breaking down in both tears and laughter: “Sure, what the hell, let’s do all those things.”